Turn down the volume
Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
Dealing with tense situations and diffusing situations involving angry people is a true art form. There comes a point in the confrontation where the original point is no longer the point because emotions have taken over. Sometimes the emotions can be diffused early enough that a conversation can be steered back on course to the original point of discussion. But other times the emotions have escalated beyond a level where rationality is easily re-introduced.
Recognizing that tipping point and knowing which way to go next is crucial in restoring fellowship and bringing about resolution. As Solomon advises, tone is as important (and sometimes more so) than the actual words spoken. Words often carry enormous weight, and choosing words carefully can make a world of difference in communication. But what can make even more of a difference is the tone and manner in which those words are delivered.
It is hard at times to not return harsh words when you have received harsh words. Sometimes a more harsh approach may be warranted (remember Jesus creating chaos in the temple courts?) More often than not, though, a kind and gentle return can keep emotions in check and re-institute true communication.
We see many examples where Jesus refrained from matching the volume or emotion of His naysayers, and it helped Him turn them away. Winning by "out-angering" or "out-screaming" someone is usually a hollow victory that may only serve to satisfy our flesh.
(NOTE: While I actually wrote this entry in my journal a while back, it seems even more fitting in this election season. I read the papers and see clips from the conventions and feel sick to my stomach. There is no communication going on right now in our country. There is simply "our side" and "their side", and God forbid if you are on "their side". Class warfare and an "us versus them" mentality was a key component in the fall of the Roman empire. I fear we could be next if there is truly no middle ground to be found.)
Dealing with tense situations and diffusing situations involving angry people is a true art form. There comes a point in the confrontation where the original point is no longer the point because emotions have taken over. Sometimes the emotions can be diffused early enough that a conversation can be steered back on course to the original point of discussion. But other times the emotions have escalated beyond a level where rationality is easily re-introduced.
Recognizing that tipping point and knowing which way to go next is crucial in restoring fellowship and bringing about resolution. As Solomon advises, tone is as important (and sometimes more so) than the actual words spoken. Words often carry enormous weight, and choosing words carefully can make a world of difference in communication. But what can make even more of a difference is the tone and manner in which those words are delivered.
It is hard at times to not return harsh words when you have received harsh words. Sometimes a more harsh approach may be warranted (remember Jesus creating chaos in the temple courts?) More often than not, though, a kind and gentle return can keep emotions in check and re-institute true communication.
We see many examples where Jesus refrained from matching the volume or emotion of His naysayers, and it helped Him turn them away. Winning by "out-angering" or "out-screaming" someone is usually a hollow victory that may only serve to satisfy our flesh.
(NOTE: While I actually wrote this entry in my journal a while back, it seems even more fitting in this election season. I read the papers and see clips from the conventions and feel sick to my stomach. There is no communication going on right now in our country. There is simply "our side" and "their side", and God forbid if you are on "their side". Class warfare and an "us versus them" mentality was a key component in the fall of the Roman empire. I fear we could be next if there is truly no middle ground to be found.)
posted by Robert Jory Allen at
11:40 AM
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